Brettski's Sayings (The Bar Napkin)

2011-10-17T17:27:00.002-05:00

"Engineers call them edge cases. I call them: what our users do."

-- Unknown

2011-10-17T17:26:00.000-05:00

"Never underestimate the determination of an engineer to abandon all best practices in light of solving a tough problem."

--Sorry, I don't recall where this came from

2010-12-10T09:57:00.000-06:00

"Grammar is not a time of waste"

- Nancy Cartwright

2010-07-08T08:36:00.001-05:00

I have a photographic memory. Sadly, i usually leave the lens-cap on.

- Posted by Phil Factor on twitter

2010-05-16T19:25:00.001-05:00

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein

2010-01-09T13:08:00.001-06:00

The scientists of today think deeply instead of clearly. One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane.

- Nikola Tesla

2010-01-05T22:22:00.000-06:00

Dilbert's Words of Wisdom

1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either.

2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

3. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

4. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

5. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

6. Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

7. Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

8. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

9. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

10. Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

11. My Reality Check bounced.

12. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.

13. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

14. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

15. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

16. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

17. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.

18. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

2010-01-05T22:20:00.001-06:00

BILL Gates' SPEECH TO MT. WHITNEY HIGH SCHOOL in Visalia, California.

Worthwhile reading for anyone. Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this!

To anyone with kids of any age, or anyone who has ever been a kid, here's some advice Bill Gates recently dished out at a high school speech about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $40,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping -- they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one

2010-01-04T13:02:00.001-06:00

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine

-Unknown

2009-12-20T20:45:00.001-06:00

The great tragedy of Science - the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact.

-Thomas H. Huxley (1825 - 1895)

2009-12-11T13:20:00.001-06:00

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.

- Frank Zappa

2009-12-04T14:55:00.000-06:00

Saying what we think gives us a wider conversational range than saying what we know.

- Cullen Hightower

2009-11-22T21:26:00.000-06:00

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

- Douglas Adams

2009-11-17T14:04:00.000-06:00

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?

- Laurence J. Peter

2009-11-16T22:28:00.001-06:00

The will to be stupid is a very powerful force, but there are always alternatives.

- Lois McMaster Bujold

2009-08-28T13:22:00.001-05:00

When two men in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary.

- William Wrigley Jr.

2009-08-21T08:26:00.001-05:00

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
- Emo Phillips

2009-06-30T12:42:00.000-05:00

I hope that when I die, people say about me, 'Boy, that guy sure owed me a lot of money.'

- Jack Handey

2009-06-26T09:04:00.000-05:00

"She doesn't eat meat, she suffers from vegetarism"

~Brett Slaski

2009-05-20T15:48:00.000-05:00

Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats.
- Howard Aiken

2009-05-01T11:26:00.000-05:00

Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don’t seem so bad lately.
- Scott Adams

2009-04-25T22:53:00.000-05:00

Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in.
- Leonardo da Vinci

2009-04-11T13:46:00.001-05:00

If there were no God, there would be no Atheists.

- G. K. Chesterton

2009-03-17T08:51:00.001-05:00

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

- Jay Leno

2009-02-20T21:29:00.001-06:00

I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.

I Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan .

I told them I was suicidal. They got all
excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

2009-02-09T08:21:00.000-06:00

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

- George Carlin

2009-02-02T13:54:00.002-06:00

If the human mind was simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it.
- Emerson Pugh

2009-01-22T13:51:00.000-06:00

Being at the end of a job and needing to un-delete quickly teaches you not to bypass the recycle bin.

-bcs

2009-01-12T15:32:00.001-06:00

With the more trial and error you do, the less trial and error you'll do.

~Brettski

2008-12-06T15:17:00.001-06:00

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

- Augusten Burroughs

2008-11-25T12:38:00.002-06:00

"A crisis is a terrible thing to waste"

~ Paul Romer

2008-11-08T03:03:00.000-06:00

It's just the sign of the times; Going forward in reverse. still, he who laughs last is just a hand in the bush

"No More Tears"
Ozzy Osbourne

2008-10-31T09:51:00.000-05:00

"You miss 100% of the shots you never take."

--Wayne Gretzky

2008-10-30T09:11:00.002-05:00

There art two cardinal sins from which all others spring: Impatience and Laziness.
- Franz Kafka

2008-09-18T17:30:00.000-05:00

I am falling apart, one clot at a time

--Anon

2008-03-12T06:33:00.001-05:00

...but my mother always told me that if you’re not irritating some people, you’re not doing anything interesting.

-- Guy Kawasaki's Mom
source

2008-02-22T16:42:00.003-06:00

It doesn't really get busier any given day, just more stuff doesn't get done.

~Brett Slaski

2007-11-15T11:46:00.000-06:00

At any given time, I can only remember two bugs. If you ask me to remember three, one of them will fall on the floor and get swept under the bed with the dust bunnies, who will eat it.

--Joel Spolsky

2007-10-18T13:07:00.000-05:00

"How do you catch a unicorn? ... unique up on him."

--Julie T

2007-10-18T11:30:00.001-05:00

rare mood? No, I just really enjoy silent conversation... now there's an oxymoron.

--Julie T

2007-07-17T08:56:00.000-05:00

If my brain explodes, will you please pick up all the pieces and not keep any of them?

-Me

2007-06-13T06:36:00.000-05:00

"Can't I just be left alone on the Internet?"

~ Lou (www.ooeygui.com)

2007-01-31T21:05:00.000-06:00

"Superior intellect will always encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds"
--Albert Einstein

2007-01-29T19:49:00.001-06:00

Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.

-Denis Diderot

2007-01-03T10:57:00.001-06:00

Content controls are sort of like trying to stop a leak in a dike using your finger; except there's no dike.

~SANS NewsBites Vol. 9 Num. 1

2006-12-07T09:13:00.000-06:00

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says,
"Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year."

The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it."

2006-10-20T14:10:00.000-05:00

'A little somthing from joelonsoftware.com. I really like this explaination of a New York. I find Chicago fits this very well too.'

FROM:
... Anyway, the intern said he had never lived in New York City, and asked me what it was like. I didn’t really have a good answer, but I said, “New York is the kind of place where ten things happen to you every day on the way to the subway that would have qualified as interesting dinner conversation in Bloomington, Indiana, and you don’t pay them any notice.”

2006-09-27T09:00:00.000-05:00

I'm not crazy, I'm just not you.

-- Roger R. Pearman (Author), Sarah Albritton (Author)

2006-09-20T12:18:00.000-05:00

"I was born on my mother's birthday. The devastating loss of my mum knocked the wind out of me for a year. It can devastate you for a long time but you owe it to the person to get up and get going again,"

--Steve Irwin

2006-05-01T09:39:00.000-05:00

Microsoft is changing the world!
...One headache at a time

~Brettski

2006-02-07T12:27:00.000-06:00

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

2005-12-05T16:52:00.000-06:00

"Life is a big tambourine, that more that you shake it the better it sing"

--Robert Plant (Down to the Sea)

2005-12-05T14:27:00.000-06:00

Stranger Here... Than Over There

--Robert Plant

2005-11-01T20:32:00.000-06:00

“If C gives you enough rope to hang yourself, think of Subversion as a sort of rope storage facility.” —Brian W. Fitzpatrick

2005-10-18T12:11:00.000-05:00

You know you're staying up too late when....

Your cue to go to bed each night is when the next day's New York Times hits your inbox.

candace at 05:11 PM | ...

2005-10-05T12:00:00.000-05:00

"Only someone with no imagination can ever be bored."
~Unknown

2005-08-30T12:53:00.000-05:00

Dear Friends,

It is with the saddest heart I pass on the following:

Please join me in remembering a great icon - the veteran Pillsbury spokesman. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.The gravesite was piled high with flours. As long-time friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.

Toward the end it was thought he would rise gain, but alas, he was no tart.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.

2005-08-30T12:33:00.000-05:00

THE PLAN

In the beginning was the PLAN.
And then came the Assumptions.
And the Assumptions were without form.
And the PLAN was without substance.
And the darkness was upon the face of the Workers.
And they spoke among themselves, saying,

"It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh."

And the workers went to their Supervisors and said,

"It is a pail of dung, and none may abide the odor thereof."

And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying,

"It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide it."

And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying,

"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide the strength."

And the Directors conferred among themselves, and went to their Vice Presidents saying,

"It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."

And the Vice Presidents went unto the President, saying unto him,

"This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the company, with powerful effects."

And the President looked upon the PLAN and saw that it was good.
And the PLAN became POLICY.

This is how SHIT HAPPENS !

2005-08-01T08:02:00.000-05:00

"One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop."

--G. M. Weilacher

2005-04-28T11:36:00.000-05:00

2005-03-17T21:42:00.000-06:00

To many click spoil the browse.

--?

2005-02-28T21:48:00.000-06:00

Procrastination is the reward for not doing work.

~MarkTaw
From, Getting Back to Work: A Personal Productivity Toolkit *

2005-01-26T21:02:00.000-06:00

"I reject your reality and insert my own"

~Adam Savage (Mythbusters)

2005-01-17T20:24:00.000-06:00

PLEASE

"Please with surger on top and a big ol' cherry"
"...Or strawberries if you preserve."

--Me

2004-12-07T12:20:00.000-06:00

Global warming is hazardous to over-clocking

~someone on /.

2004-12-01T22:04:00.000-06:00

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

--Unknown

2004-12-01T22:01:00.000-06:00

The road to success is lined with many tempting parking spaces.

--Unknown

2004-12-01T22:00:00.000-06:00

More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying
that they made them.

--Unknown

2004-08-24T13:38:00.000-05:00

"People don't delete files, their fingers do"
~Brettski

2004-08-09T08:17:00.000-05:00

"Pain is weekness leaving your body"

~Unknown

2004-06-17T08:58:00.000-05:00

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.
~Bill Cosby

Plan the strategy first before fixing the structure.
~Red Scott

No one ever listened themselves out of a job.
~Calvin Coolidge

2004-04-26T22:15:00.000-05:00

Hmm. Change the name of this blog to 'bar napkin', it does make sense.

2004-04-01T09:01:00.000-06:00

One thing you can't recycle is waisted time.
~unknown

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
~Ghandi

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achive greatly.
~unknown

More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying that they made them.
~unknown

2004-03-15T09:31:00.000-06:00

"We are all atheists, I just believe in one less god than you"

~I don't remember the sources name, but I found it on Blogger

2004-03-15T08:45:00.000-06:00

The constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have got to catch it for yourself.
~Benjamin Franklin

2004-03-04T22:04:00.000-06:00

It is amazing how dirty you get making things clean.

~Brettski

2004-02-26T15:17:00.000-06:00

-

All the worlds an Acronym

~Brettski

2004-02-26T15:05:00.000-06:00

-

Don't control, be in control.

~JMS